Chapter 23

Edward and bella made their way back to the cottage , Edward had his daughter cradled in one arm and the other was around Bella,
"Edward, do you think I will ever be like I was befre all this happened" she sighed
"Bella my love it will take time to control your emotions and thirst again , but we have all the time in the world" he kissed her cheek
"I love you" she whispered
"As I do you he smiled
"Wuv u" murmered renessmee as she stirred
"We love you too princess" they laughed together, they lay her on her bad and sat outside , there was a howling coming from deep in the forest..
bella looked at Edward "Yes it worries me too" he sighed answering her thoughts
"What if he gets close again" she whispered
"Then Alice will see or not see as the case may be" he sighed
"Then YOu cant" she broke off, he shook his head
"No I've tuned him out why?" he looked at her and sighed, stood and walked into the forest
  "Dammit bella" she cursed , she walked in and went to check on renessmee , she could understand why he had watched her sleep , nessies thumb moved to her mouth and bella wondered if she was re living the nightmare.
 
                 "Jasper , Bella needs you" smiled Alice looking up from a book she was reading, he looked puzzled,
"Shes been trying to decide whether its safe to leave renessmee alone whilst she comes to see you" she smiled
"Alone? wheres Edward?" asked Carlisle
"He decided to hunt alone, he says he needs space" she hissed in a disaproving tone
Carlisle stood and looked at Esme who nodded and smiled,then he left with Jasper.
Bella could smell Jasper as he approached ,
"Come in" she whispered he walked in and found her sat beside nessies bed he held out his hand and they sat outside together.
"Alice?" she smiled , he nodded
"What is it Bella"
Jaz i need to learn how to control myself again, please you have experience with this I need your help" she exhaled
"How?" he asked
"When you live with Maria you trained newborns to work together and be ...well more civilized will you train me?" she smiled
"You will need to learn how your emotions are triggered and then reign them back in " he explained
"But my trigger is my family thats when it flares up , i cant keep on putting them in danger until I learn to pull it back" she sighed
"No I'm not expecting you too , at the moment simple things trigger you especially when you thirsty" and he slapped her across the face she jumped up and hissed at him it obviously hadnt hurt but it took her by suprise.
  "What the hell did you do that for" she hissed her hands balling up, he stood and placed his hands on her shoulders
"Breathe, focus" he repeated to her , she listened to him closing her eyes he waited till she had opened them again and slapped her face again , she stood back and hissed he repeated the same request.
  "Ok thats enough for tonight before one of us gets hurt"  he laughed , she agreed being slapped in the face wasnt how she imagined he would help but she trusted him.
"Goodnight Jasper and thanks....I think " she laughed... she stood looking into the forest and longing to see Edward again she felt a hand on her shoulder,
"Don't worry Carlisle has gone to find him, he'll talk him round whatever it is" and he left.
       
        Carlisle found his son pacing in the meadow, he didnt acknowledge Carlisle was there,
"This is were it all started" he hissed "And over there the dog ended it , I sometimes wish it had been him Bella had kille instead of Leah"
  "Edward thats not the answer , can you imagine her guilt if she had" he stood infront of him and took him by the shoulders
"Then what is the answer Carlisle, please I need to know" he spat, glaring at him with darkened eyes..
"Sorry I didnt mean to....." he broke off
"Edward you have to stop blaming yourself first, you could not have forseen what jacob was going to do , what he was capable of, none of us could"
 "If I hadnt left her.." Edward began,
"You did it for her own good as you thought at the time, little did we know how strong the bond was between you, that you were destined to be together",
"But.." Edward interupted
 Carlisle continued ignoring his sons interuption, "She chose you, after everything you put her through for those endless months , she flew half way around the world to save you and very nearly scrificed her own life doing so......Edward! sge came up against the Volturi for heavens sake , most vampires don;t even live to tell the tale but she did , you all did"
  "Thanks for reminding me" he laughed dryly
     "You need reminding son, I know you never dreamed you would ever meet a mate someone you could spend your life with , but you got Bella and a daughter , you got a life the rest of us have only dreamed of having , but with that life there will be trials but you are both strong enough to fight it...together" he sighed
   "Thank you father" Edward smiled and Carlisle glowed that had been the first time he had ever called him father( away from human ears).
"I realise now that for whatever reaso he will probably always be a part of bellas life , but she chose me and for that i will be eternally blessed" he smiled
     "Exactly , now dont you think its time to went home to your wife and daughter , Bella needed jasper as I left I do not know why" and they ran towards the cottage.
 
          Edward arrived back at the cottage to find Bella waiting at the door , she smiled and flung her arms around his neck and pushed her lips onto his........